And so the snow finally came
But it didn’t prevent me from getting to work
T’was a bloody signal failure
That drove me bloody berserk
Battled through the ice
Skated the pavements and rode a bus
Travelled on the tube
Finally reached Highbury & Is
To find all Stratford trains cancelled
Though I waited and waited – in vain
To discover said signal failure
Had afflicted TFL again
Oh what a merry cock-up!
I feared the weather would be the culprit
That ultimately prevented me reaching
My destination – but that wasn’t it!
When will these signals be fixed?
Is a snowflake their kryptonite?
They’re always breaking down
And must be considerably shite
To render a whole line defunct
A station unreachable
To cause them to send everyone home
And make them miserable
So back the way I came I trudged
Developing frostbite, hypothermic and miffed
All the while sending explanatory emails
To my bosses who could’ve been p****d
That on the very day of my appraisal
The most important one of the year
I couldn’t make it to the office
Due not to snow but signal failure
The same old boring chestnut
That repeatedly blights the lives
Of poor, downtrodden commuters
Who are robbed by the extortionate price
Of a beyond sub-standard service
They are forced everyday to endure
They have no choice, it’s a sacrifice
They undoubtedly wish they could be spared
Well, thank heavens I had my laptop
Having feared I’d be snowed in
But like I said t’was bloody signal failure
That foiled me once again.
Rachel Rhodes 