F**king Adverts!

Adverts, adverts, adverts

I royally detest

Non-subliminal brain washing 

Of the masses – I protest!

Telling me what to buy

Vacuuming up my cash

Greedy, guzzling commercials

Horrible, stupid trash

Every couple of minutes

On most tv stations

They churn them out incessantly

For every conceivable occasion

Making out I need 

The shite they’re trying to flog

And if the product is dull

It’ll be accompanied by a cute dog

Or a half naked woman

Who’s impossibly beautiful

Or a chisled, ripped young man

Semi-clad and in a thong 

Even food is sexyfied

With a voiceover akin to Je T’aime

And it’s ok if I swerve it 

For they’ll repeat it over and over again

Until it’s ringing in my ears

And I’m singing it in my sleep

Until I can’t even bear to watch

And the jingle makes me howl and weep

Until I’ve lost the will to live

And have scratched out both my eyes

Or until I’ve hurled my tv out

Of the window and seen it fly

These adverts make me seethe

They’re on longer than the programme itself

And if you want to continue watching

You’re condemned to enduring them as well

So I seldom switch the thing on

For mostly it’s a box of crap

A vehicle for peddling junk

And quite frankly I can do without that.