The Crumbling

It feels like the structure
Of my life
Is crumbling rapidly
I’m beset with strife

Like the city of Venice
I’m on precarious ground
Gradually rotting and sinking
Into the abyss that surrounds

It feels like the foundations
I have built
Have been swept away
As my entire world tilts

On its axis
The end of days
All I can do
Is hope and pray

The fire in my belly
Almost extinguished
No sense of purpose
I simply languish

It was never meant to be this way
I look upon my choices with dismay
I thought I was following my own true bliss
It was never meant to turn out like this

How do I get out
Of this stinking quagmire?
I want to scream and shout
But I’m silenced because I can’t get myself into gear

I’m at a crossroads
But it’s not signposted
I don’t know which way to go
And I am tormented, like a hostage

I had big plans
I had major dreams
But they lie in tatters
I’ve come undone at the seams

Oh, dear God!
Let not this last!
Don’t let this be the end of me!
I entreat you – rescue me fast!

Paindemic

A new pandemic

Is taking hold

The world’s gone beserk

Over Sourdough

An epidemic

Of tart tasting bread

You need a sledgehammer to slice

Being served it I dread

It’s chewy, it’s nasty

It tastes like turd

So heavy and dense

This obsession is absurd

And yet it’s everywhere

In every bakery and cafe

It’s very invention

Is a cause for dismay

No wonder they’ve named it

‘Sour’ / ‘dough’

You need wads of the latter to buy it

And may feel bitter if you don’t

Like a status symbol

It reeks of affluence

Accompanied with smashed avocado

Eating it suggests a gentrified stance

A plague du pain

A pain in the butt

I’m sorry if this irks you

But I cannot stand the stuff!

Fine, you may say,

Do not partake

If it was that simple

For sure another bread would I break!

But try finding granary

Or whole meal or soda

In a city besieged

With this poncy interloper

I’ve scoured every store

In the vicinity

For an alternative loaf

To no avail – what a liberty!

So I was forced to purchase

A slender baguette

Funded by taking out a second mortgage

Which of course I lived to regret

Not only did my knife

Warp, then falter and break

When I tried to cut it –

By morning it was stale!

So it went in the bin

And I went without toast

To eat with my homemade soup

What an utter joke!

Bread should surely be squidgy

Springy, buoyant and yum

Sweet yet savoury and moreish

And not cost an extortionate sum!

And what happened to having choices

As to what variety you can buy?

Why must we all conform

To the latest food fad that passes by?

Not everyone’s bloody tastebuds

Are exactly the same

Not everyone’s a slave to fashion

So please would you kindly refrain

From saturating the shops

And eateries with this crust

It’s like chomping on a piece chipbaord

And I refuse to bow down to this cult.

Six Months Later…

Dad, you’re in the wind
That blows across the moors
In that place where you were born and bred
The North East that was forever yours

We visited there yesterday
And felt you acutely everywhere
It’s only natural that you would return
To that place of your birth

As we retraced our former family life
A million memories flooded back
Pictures of you in my mind’s eye
As if it were only yesterday, alas

Overflowing with love
My heart began to ache bad
Overflowing with tears
I yearn for my newly lost Dad

It was only six months ago
That you took your leave of this zone
And the pain is harder to bare
The closer I am to home

Spending time with Mum
In your neck of the woods
With you so obviously missing
Has us both in floods

We hold each other tight
And comfort each other as best we can
It’s bittersweet and poignant
And I do worry for Mam

But she’s doing great, I guess
Better than expected
I thought she’d be more of a mess
But that’s me underestimating

She’s doing the best she can
And coping remarkably well
I’m proud of the panache with which
She’s navigating this hell

You’d be proud of her too
For I know she was your world
You took care of her in so many ways
From when she was just a girl

It’s weird to see her without you
Going it alone
But she’s stronger than any of us thought
So rest in peace, Dad, she’ll be fine, I know

We’ll be fine and must carry on
There’s no turning back the clock
And thought it’s earth shattering to have left you behind
You certainly won’t ever be forgot.