Flight Of The Long-Held Pee!

After holding in a wee

Whilst talking on the phone

I then legged it to the loo

But being accident prone

I didn’t quite perfect my landing

As I was so desperate for relief

So I kinda skidded then slid

Against the toilet seat

I heard a loud ominous crack

Then the whole thing kinda whizzed

Into the air and basically took flight

With my butt still on the lid!

Through the atmosphere

Legs completely akimbo!

Jeans-a-dangling

Suspended in a limbo!

Hanging by the seat and my pants

Up towards my bathroom ceiling

Skyward-bound then plummeting down

I found my sorry self reeling

Powerless to actually get off

Had to wait for the darn thing to crash

Didn’t have a parachute

So landed on my naked ass

In a heap

On the tiles

With a massive thud

Having travelled miles

I was so

Discombobulated

I didn’t realise

I’d urinated

Absolutely

Everywhere

Except in the loo

What a flaming nightmare!

I stared at the open can

In utter disbelief

The shattered and completely detached

Beyond repair toilet seat

The only silver lining

I could salvage from my mind

Was the fact that my violent docking

Was cushioned by my generous behind

Without that bulging booty

I’d have been in dire straits

I could easily have broken something

But fortunately that wasn’t my fate

The moral of this story

Is go when you need to go

Don’t hold it in until you’re bursting

Because you’re talking on the phone.