Cursed

Time to let go
But finding it hard
Strings are tugging
At my heart

When you’ve been tied to someone
For so long
And you need to walk away
You have to be strong

Seems an impossible task
Willpower non-existent
Head telling you the right thing to do
Emotions pulling you in the opposite direction

How do you switch it off?
When someone is under your skin?
Cursing through your veins?
Not physically here but within?

It only took a moment
To undo all that hard work
Progress that had been made
Discarded, cast away, shirked

Now to begin again
Building up that wall
Encasing those feelings in an iron coffin
Burying it deep beneath, in a vault

Forgetting all over again
How it was when it was great
Trying to only focus
On the bad times and the hate

But how can you focus on the hate?
When all there really is is love?
When seeing them again takes your breath away?
When you’re insanely thinking you can never have enough?

Cursed I am it seems
Afflicted by that which has no cure
I just wish he’d spared me this
Never returned to these helpless shores

Who knows how long I will toil
And writhe in this agony
Until blessed numbness sets in
And once again I am free.