Cupid’s in deep s**t!
For drink driving whilst on duty
I was a direct hit
And rendered feeling infuriatingly fruity
Turns out he was p*ssed
As a proverbial fart
I’m incensed he didn’t miss
For now I’m nursing a mortified heart
He’s really done a number on me
Because I clearly wasn’t his target
No way on God’s earth should I have fallen inappropriately in lust
With a dude that was off the market
Well, he can clean up his own mess
This totally wasn’t my fault!
His drunken mishap made me fess up
To feelings I never should have felt!
Now I’m in a tangle
And that reckless chubby cherub needn’t gloat!
The situation is mangled
I NEED an antidote!
A f**king ice cold shower
A course of antibiotics
And to report him to the Love Powers That Be
For rendering me psychotic.