Feeling lost
Out of sync with this world
Abandoned by love
Punches hurled
Still grieving the death
Of my Dad, alas
Hugs are in short supply
My heavy heart turns to glass
Been running all my life
From adversity and abuse
Don’t feel welcome in this world
Praying my enemies call a truce
To be persecuted so
Repeatedly
Is having a devastating
Impact on me
One parent down
The remaining one frail
I fear being alone
Cannot find the Holy Grail
Been searching for an eternity
For some kind of home
A place where I’m secure
Not isolated, alone
Not in a heightened
State of tension
Not struggling and juggling
Too many obstacles to mention
I have absolutely no clue
Where the hell to go from here
But I need to escape
The constant attacks and smears
What the actual f**k
Am I doing wrong?
What’s so abnormal about me?
That I just do not belong?
Trouble follows
Wherever I try to settle
I’m made of strong stuff
But life is testing my metal
It’s not that I cannot
Stand on my own two feet
I am indeed a warrior
Yet I’m close to defeat
I can’t take anymore
And my health isn’t great
Sick and tired of swimming against the tide
Jesus Christ, Lord, just give me a break!
Salvation eludes me
Weary am I
What kind of f**kery is this?
Why? Why? Why?
Fair weather friends
Wolves in sheep’s attire
Vampires bite me
Under the guise of an admirer
So I bleed and I bleed
Sucked almost dry
My spirit wanes
Though I’m too numb to cry
I’m all out of tears
I’ve cried oceans of those
I limp on virtually soulless
Waiting for my destiny to unfold
Dad said I was a dreamer
And dreams don’t always come true
I guess I’ll die waiting
What else can I do?
Rachel Rhodes 