Hell Hath No Fury…

I’ve battled demons and dark entities

Ever since I was a child

Pursued by evil and malevolent forces

That wreak catastrophe upon me and smile

It’s as if my card was marked

Before I was even born

And that sadistic beings have sought to destroy me

Even before I knew who I was

The path I endeavour to follow

Beset with treacherously dangerous  traps

Foes masquerading as friends

Wreak havoc should I step on the cracks

They stalk me and surveil me

Relentlessly ever persistent 

I cannot shake them off

As they circle and swarm, insistent

Lurking in the shadows

Salivating and seething

Waiting for me to show weakness

So they can pounce and rip me to pieces 

They seek to devour and to decimate

By wrecking the foundations that I create

If murder was actually legal 

I’m pretty sure I’d be in my grave

But miraculously somehow I prevail

Albeit at times utterly broken on my knees

Crawling whilst bleeding in the gutter 

Filthy, dirty, diseased 

Oh, I’ve certainly wished for death

Demanded and entreated

But my cosmic life support system

Stops me flatlining each time I’m defeated

I’ve exceeded the nine lives of a feline

The dastardly actions of my assailants are foiled

Astonishingly I rise, time and time again

And God repurifies that which was soiled

Whatever the plan He has for me

Has never been disclosed 

But forced am I to endure

However punishingly tough this road

So I continue to persevere 

To unwaveringly keep the faith

And follow unquestioningly any divine guidance I get

Blindly trusting that God is great

For only through the grace of His love

Have I managed to repeatedly bounce back

And despite being maimed, humiliated

My dignity remains intact

If He still wants me or needs me on this planet

It is my duty to obey

So whatever missiles they wish to aim at me

Can detonate and I’ll be ok

For I don’t give an utter flying f*ck

About my perceived ‘reputation’

I do not give any kind of damn at all

About what others think of my situation

And in the face of absolutely ANYTHING

They possibly can throw at me

I determine to confront them fearlessly 

And refuse to surrender you see

For I do not bow down to tyrants

Thus NOTHING can stand in my way

You want me then f*cking well find me

And then let’s see who is afraid!

For what lies beneath this mask that I wear

Is more menacing than what Hell can invoke 

And as God is my witness and vehement protector 

My wrath unleashed is no joke

I am in fact not what I seem 

Or entirely of this earth

And believe me I am not alone in this world

So do not underestimate my worth

One day they will eventually realise

That what they persecute is a ticking bomb

Detonate me, banshees, at your peril –

Then watch as the unhallowed run.

Recital Of Hell Hath No Fury – Live

The Sinister State Of The Mental Health System In Broken Britain & The NHS

As a repeat victim of the diabolically sadistic UK Mental Health System, being a sufferer of Bipolar Disorder and an abuse survivor, it is no wonder that the injustices the poor, ex-inpatients of NHS asylums were subjected to, documented in the linked articles below, do not bloody surprise me!!!!

Yes, such sickening medieval torture disguised as medical treatment IS inflicted upon patients in psychiatric hospitals across Britain on a VERY regular basis and these accounts I have listed here ARE VERY REAL and VERY horrific..with often fatal consequences.

The condemned souls incarcerated in these hell holes are frequently not remotely mentally ill at all – they are often simply addicts, alcoholics, homeless people, pensioners with no families and also, commonly ptsd-afflicted victims of crimes, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, post-natal depression, menopausal symptoms and other traumas – with the majority of recipients of a Section 2 or 3 detention sentence being females, regrettably.

If you want to know the raw truth about life on the inside – read my poems – 999, Bastardised and The Twilight Zone – also linked below – which are based on MY experiences – as are the two videos diaries I recorded featured at the end of this piece.

Urgent reform is needed.

Urgently.

These institutions are barbaric, a national disgrace and yet no one hardly ever talks about what goes on in them – even these articles only expose the tip of the iceberg!

Those who do get finally discharged after such incarcerations are regrettably too permanently damaged, afraid and too ashamed to open up about their experiences and often go on to commit suicide as a result.

Pure, preventable evil.

Here are the press articles:

Dr Anna Jones

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0723z8ZxkMe99Sj3YyEF21dNnb58p8ayEyu9KoseQucuQSY1UskworpqEQ3f3XkMYl&id=100063485743677

Cerys Lupton-Jones

RIEP, Cerys. Sincerest condolences to her family and all who loved her.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz91e1e23wzo?fbclid=IwQ0xDSwNmGkFleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHi_YFV097Rwr_PynEc4nAl3HacWPL0mh0j9m9S4AOyg7hT6ETBBUFG7n2rrX_aem_jwcTT4y45bra2qkbw7CRAw

🙏

Kenneth Erhahon

‘I was sectioned four times — people need to know my story’

999!!!

999

Bastardised

Bastardised

The Twilight Zone

The Twilight Zone

Videos Dairies April 2025 Incarceration:

If you are reading this final paragraph, thank you.

Thank you.

Please share if you can.

We need to expose the truth however horrific to draw attention to this issue if we are to somehow affect reform.

Please help if you can.

End the stigma.

End the abuse and medical malpractice.

I rest my case.

🤬🙌🤬

Kind regards

Rachel Rhodes-Puckett

🧚‍♀️

Wasted Woman

Increasingly feeling invisible

Banging on doors that remain closed

Battling rejection

Frustrated and borderline morose

Emails and voicemails

That get no response

Wasted efforts

Over years, not just months

Money ‘invested’

Seemingly poured down the drain

Hours spent labouring

Was it really all in vain?

What does one have to do?

To achieve that lucky break?

In the face of such fierce competition?

What the actual f**k does it take?

Is it my sex or my age?

Is it a sign of the times?

Will I ever get paid?

For formulating rhymes?

Will I ever get hired?

To tread again those wooden boards?

Will I ever again be admired?

By someone seeking more than a whore?

Should I have a mid-life crisis?

Delude myself I’m 20 once more?

Wear tiny skirts, platform stilettos

Pour myself into a size 4?

It used to be easy

To magic up a job

To realise an ambition

Opportunities abounded in love

Anything was possible

Gambles nearly always paid off

Now I can’t get a number on the lottery

Let alone five and the bonus ball!

I’m trying so hard

I really bloody am

But I keep hitting walls

Something is jammed

Being 40 odd and female

Is a tricky state to be in

Having neither wed nor bred

And no longer being young and thin

Is it time to chuck in the towel?

Wear tweed and a violet rinse?

For what I’ve got isn’t what it takes

Though admitting it makes me wince

Should all of us artistic women

Who just can’t earn a crust

In the industry we love

Give up and gather dust?

Should we sulk in a corner?

With bitter, withering souls?

Because we never quite made it

And achieved our goals?

No we shouldn’t

We should soldier on!

Do it the hell anyways

Because it’s what we love!

We suffer for our art

And art imitates life

And life is tough at times

But at least we’re living, right?

And the story isn’t over

There are many chapters to be wrote

And while there’s breath in your body

There’s an element of hope

So don’t give up,

Whether spinsters or sopranos!

We all are potential winners

One day we shall own milanos!

Even if it’s in our dreams

For without dreams we shrivel and die

So fight on to the death

Even If it means that we die trying!

I Stand With Brand

#IstandwithBrand

I have been a vehement supporter of Russell Brand since 2006 and have met him several times.

I volunteered at his Community Festival in 2023.

Shortly afterwards, this happened:

https://youtu.be/ZGr_PVUHn2I?si=BhpXVxVTAkOeeooG

And if you watch this you’ll see what Russell was going through in his personal life at the time In Plain Sight was broadcast and how it affected him and maybe learn more about the real man behind the MSM mayhem:

https://youtu.be/EXUpMMde51E?si=8XD0StZp0pHEaaH_

And if you watch this you’ll also see more about him as a person on a journey to faith, courtesy of the tragic, late, Charlie Kirk – may he rest in peace:

https://youtu.be/oMaHD4yW6Qo?si=qSF1Iu9I4wDjAmc6

Well, this was Russell’s candid instant response to the Dispatches documentary allegations:

https://youtu.be/ZGr_PVUHn2I?si=BhpXVxVTAkOeeooG

And this is him chatting about those allegations more recently:

https://youtu.be/xQ-dQMTcoSg?si=N52aImEyDDpxiipf

It’s a witch hunt, in my opinion, and Katy Hopkins summed the monumental sh*tstorm surrounding him up perfectly acerbically as follows:

https://youtu.be/nblyAP9V7-Y?si=L42ijTtnGaji3LRC

Tucker Carlson said this in Russell’s defence recently:

And Russell knows it too:

https://youtube.com/shorts/2-JOCnB6GmU?si=1TKgl9xsQC5bdDSY

https://x.com/rustyrockets/status/1908184087304548484?s=46

Now for a court to decide whether he is effectively crucified. For the second time:

#IStandWithBrand

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-23383451

Maybe now you understand why I stand with Brand.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdvnUP51/

I Stand With Brand (Demo)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Rhodes-Puckett (@rachelrhodesartistpoisonouspix)

https://thepenningsofthepoisonouspixie.wordpress.com/2017/03/09/being-spritely/

Maybe you should too?

Think about it….?

The Cruci-FICTION!

Being Spritely

Earth Angel

https://on.soundcloud.com/CS4EdvNBSEkDIN48Mi

Then again, if you’re still not convinced – why don’t you go and see him live and see for yourself? Objective thinking? Sound like a plan?

https://vulcanatx.ticketsauce.com/e/russell-brand-a-funny-thing-happened-on-my-way-to

Ok, nuff said.

Hopefully I’ve given you some food for objective thought…

…if not, #Bekind unlike people were to #CarolineFlack RIEP.

Be Kind

If you can’t be kind then be gone!

www.instagram.com/reel/DQNbsAmCNS4/

Nuff said.

Amen 🫶

TPP🧚‍♀️

Protected: Free The World & Freedom Tracks – written, composed by Rachel Rhodes-Puckett aka The Poisonous Pixie & Produced By Ross Merrin in 2021 …

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Protected: Free The World & Freedom Tracks – written, composed by Rachel Rhodes-Puckett aka The Poisonous Pixie & Produced By Ross Merrin in 2021 …

The Housing Crisis

What A Let Down, BBC Panorama!

Re: ‘The Race To Build’:

45 minutes of propaganda designed to generate sympathy for the government and prepare us for them not meeting the target to build a certain amount of new homes by 2029 and also for anyone one who cannot get on the property ladder BUT little exposure of the actual issue causing the renting crisis – the lack of a rent cap!!! which affects ALL renters but particularly the most vulnerable in our society – those threatened with homelessness due to eye watering rent hikes across the board.

No mention also of the threatened with homelessness population – the sleeping rough – those in emergency accommodation RIGHT NOW – whole families with children – victims of domestic abuse, etc.

Yet a huge segment devoted to talking to students in their twenties lamenting extortionate rent prices (I get it) but little coverage regarding the generation of renters who DO work multiple jobs and who still cannot afford their rent because it swallows up over a third of their salaries before they’ve even started paying their now sky high bills!!!

No mention of single people who cannot afford to live alone nowadays even when middle aged or retired – literally priced out of the rental market forced to either reside in extortionate dilapidated and diseased HMO’s with weird strangers, like sardines in overpriced tins in their twilight years long after uni ended – or move back in their parents – IF they are lucky. If they are still alive!!!

No mention of landlords and lettings agents out for profit charging a premium for these house shares / HMO’s which if you do come out of employment cannot then be covered by the local housing allowance because it hasn’t risen in line with these inflated rents since God knows when!

Because it is capped for sharers even though house share rents are now as high as what it used to cost for a bedsit or one bed flat or ‘studio’ (ergo head in the oven, feet in the fridge syndrome because your bed is in the kitchen).

The LHA tbh is pathetically low anyway compared to private sector rent fees even if you are a single occupant over the age of 35 nowadays whereas as years ago it made solitary living more doable.

I was once told to leave a very cheap houseshare whilst on benefits because the council would pay double the LHA for me to do so – hence acquiring Pixie Towers – rather than increase my housing benefit to cover the room in the share which was pennies.

Totally f**ked up logic.

I digress.

Back to Build Baby Build:

‘Bricks are too expensive to make!
We need so many of them!, we’re too skint as a country’ But we can bankroll wars a-plenty and other stories!

Ohhh, it’s impossible to get planning permission!

Ohhh, the cost to the environment! The greenbelts!

‘But there are flat-pack homes being manufactured in factories’ now – ergo prefabs!!!! – is it 1944 again? Sorry no, it’s Orwell’s 1984 more like!!!

‘Affordable’ housing – hmmn – new builds – with huge service charges and mostly shared ownership where you have to pay not only a mortgage but rent too on top for a measly 25% share of the flat you’ll never own fully unless you win the lottery!!! Fat chance of that.

A pathetic 10 minutes of this dire documentary only allocated to the desperate shortage in social housing which they admit is actually BETTER for the economy but not lucrative enough to take on.

Money.

It all boils down to money and profit over purpose.

The Money-Go-Round.

Again!

Sick.

🤢

The End.

Displaced – 2023

The Money-Go-Round

The Housing Crisis

The housing crisis 

Is ferocious and real

But unless you’re caught in it

You cannot even slightly grasp this evil!

Exorbitant rents 

That devour at least a third of your wage

Or if you’re on benefits

You’re compressed into a cage

Where landlords refuse

To accept DSS

So if you’ve no guarantor 

You’re in a treacherous mess

Legally they cannot

Discriminate

But who enforces that law?

As their greed refuses to abate?

Social housing

Almost extinct

Even with gold status 

You’re sentenced to an interminable stint

Thrown into 

A scummy Travelodge

Then forgotten about

Where you rot in drudge 

With no cooking facilities

Or laundry room

No WiFi

On a service station!!!!

At a motorway junction

In the back of beyond

Surviving on junk food

It’s outrageously wrong!!!

I’ve been homeless 

For over a year

Waiting to be allocated

A flat – I despair

So I took an abode 

In the private sector

Forced myself into full time work 

A poisoned sceptre

It didn’t pan out

They were bigoted snobs 

I wound up in hospital

And quit the wretched job

Meaning I could no longer

Afford my home

A £400 pcm deficit

In my welfare income

It’s driving me to drink

To depression and shame

Destitute, displaced

A gypsy again

The council screwed up

My DHP

Mounting debt ensues 

As I fail to make ends meet 

They won’t cover my rent

But I cannot afford to stay

But if I leave

To my utter dismay

I’ll be struck off 

The waiting list

For a housing association home

• can you see why I’m PISSED?!?!

What the F*CK am I to do?

WHERE CAN I LIVE??????????

The littlest hobo

A fugitive!!!!

I’ve roped in my MP

Who’s trying her best

And the CAB

Yet there’s a noose around my neck

The pressure is killing me

I need my own place!!!!

I want to live alone!!!!

I’m middle aged for Christ sakes!!!

I cannot abide 

Living with a parent

However sweet and fluffy

This situation I resent!!!

I’m ENTITLED to be rehoused

I’ve sweated blood and tears

Endured abuse and trauma

To achieve gold status

And now the inept 

Jobsworths want to strip me

Of my birthright

And commit me

To moving back in 

With my mum

Or sending me back

To the service station

What an utter

Miscarriage of justice

• such is the state of affairs

In this bastard housing crisis.

Slave To ‘Intuition’

I understand not what drives me

This compulsion that spurs me on

I know not where it is leading

Or what I will become

My destiny currently obscured

Blindfolded I persevere

The only guiding light I dare follow

Is your blazing, cometesque allure 

Your luminance a beguiling force

That yanks me out of the void

Reaching me in my pit of despair

And towing me onward, somehow not destroyed

I wouldn’t have made it this far 

If you did not exist

For I could not survive in a world devoid of you

You’re the only ray of hope in this abyss

It’s gruelling, this life,

This trajectory I’m on

I’m exhausted 

And I so want to quit

But I am compelled 

To follow your star

For you are the one chance of salvation

That’s tangible, that fits

And so when I rise from the ashes

And yet my scorched heart does beat

Because you are also still standing 

Nor shall I succumb to defeat

For I need to know how this story ends

How this enchantment I’m under

shall pan out

The truth is, I’m a dead woman walking

In that my spirit is decrepit, riddled with doubt

This carcass that staggers towards you

Is a mere marionette that only dances when you call

Who is on some cosmic life support machine

Wired up to your colossal power source

Only not flatlining because you rendered it so

When you entered my orbit rebooting my soul 

When you welcomed me warmly and didn’t turn me away

When you reached out to me with open arms 

And invited me to for a while, stay

To hold you close and repose in your embrace

Where I experienced pure peace and calm

I do know not exactly what this is

But spellbound by you I am

Utterly powerless against such magnetism 

No strength to deny nor resist

A tsunami sweeping me towards your shore

Though I fear obliteration should rocks surface

Onwards I am propelled by this biblical current

That engulfs me as it’s momentum gains

I’ve drowned a million times beneath these waves

But then been resurrected again

 Caught in a supernatural cycle 

That defies logic and common sense 

A cursed soul, so pathetic and tragic

But this binding tidal wave refuses to relent

So I float and am hawled along

Sometimes hurled, almost capsized 

In an ocean full of insurmountable obstacles 

Condemned to be trapped on this endless ride

That has been and still is 

Interminably long

Involuntarily committed albeit terrified

I have got it wrong

Oh, wake me for, surely 

This is actually a dream!

Incessantly reoccurring!

Where I’m hallucinating, it seems!

The ‘prophesised’ outcome

A delusional fantasy!

That something so sublime

Could ever manifest for me!

For I feel so lowly

So down trodden and unworthy

So undeserving of a finale so perfect

Cocooned in a purple haze of ‘fantasy’

Where I convince myself 

I deserve it!

Here in this rapturous repose

In this divine realm of the absurd

If my happy ending is coming

I do not wish to be disturbed

But what if it is Satan’s meddling?

And not remotely ‘holy’ at all?

What if I’m possessed and deranged

Hypnotised by Beelzebub’s call?

Bewitched, divinely blessed, 

Delusional? – the jury is definitely out

Suspended in purgatory until the denouement 

When fate reveals what the hell it’s about. 

The Furnace

Like a plague of swarming locusts

A tsunami at my shore

These cyber c*nts attack in waves

Every six months or more

Since 2021

Raping all my tech

Hacking into each device

A noose around my neck

They penetrated the hard drive

On my Apple iMac

Which was synced to my iPhone and iPad

And began remotely controlling the lot

Weird behaviour

Like the devices are possessed

Pinging and ringing

Spontaneously swiping right and left

Utilising Apple functions 

I never knew existed 

Breaking into my email accounts

My socials and websites for my business 

Obliterating my two factor authentication 

Removing my mobile number

Changing my back up information 

Usually at night whilst I’m deep in slumber 

Tapping all my phone calls 

Intercepting every communication I send

‘Organising’ my inboxes 

Like an Executive Assistant is managing them!

Invading my iCloud accounts

Then locking me out forever

Everything saved therein is lost 

Thus I’m bereaved and at the end of my tether

Manipulating the Sat Nav app

When I’m driving in my car

Diverting me into accident black spots

Journeys treacherous and hard

Sending me towards major junctions

Then the phone suddenly makes a racket

It’s silent function overturned

By some entity that has virtual control of it

My Medical records

Employment and Tax

My digital IDs

Tenancy Agreements – personal facts

All in dangerous hands 

My identity wrenched from my grasp 

These criminals impersonate me

And it stings like a swarm of wasps 

They breached my online banking

Set up subscriptions in my name

Took out credit cards and the like

These sinister b*stards have no shame 

Now my photographs are being used

On multiple Google Accounts

I have no access to

But they contain every shred of information about

Everything I’ve ever done

Everywhere I’ve been

I’m being stalked and my movements tracked

Yet I’ve no clue why they’re targeting me!!!!

Furthermore, my London flat 

Was broken into too many times to mention

And all the crime numbers and notes I’d made

We’re spirited off without my intervention

Passports vanished 

Then later reappeared

They gaslit me

Making it seem like I was weird 

And so the authorities

Continue to assume

I’m having a psychotic episode

Because they cannot compute

How this major sh*t

Can possibly happen

To someone like me

Without explanation

They don’t have the resources

The time or inclination 

To thoroughly investigate

My abhorrent situation

And so it continues

And I descend deeper into jeopardy 

I suspect I’ll end up framed and in prison

For some ‘crime’ I didn’t commit eventually 

Or I’ll get sectioned 

Indefinitely 

My liberty vaporised

The light of day will I never again see

I cannot afford a specialist lawyer

Which is my only option

Action Fraud, The Cyber Helpline

Only log such information 

I NEED intervention 

A Private Detective

The monumental stress of it all

Is making me defective 

My job and home

My health and sanity

Are all at stake

Please, GOD, help me!!!!

Dispatch me a Knight!

In Shining Attire!

This really is a living hell

Lord, exhume me from this fire!

Alone Without A Home

The single tax

Is regrettably a fact

In a society which favours

Couples and families, not Lone Rangers

To afford to live alone

Is an unattainable luxury

When the housing rental market

Has gone utterly bat-shit crazy

It’s hardly your own fault

If your not involved or spliced

But it rubs salt into the wound 

When there’s no discount for living the single life

You shouldn’t have to flatshare

Over the age of thirty 

Your ‘student’ years should be way behind you

You should be entitled to residing independently 

It’s bad enough

You cannot split the bills

Without having to cough up for extortionate rental sums

And God forbid you’re a woman

Likely a victim of the salary gender gap

Another nail in your coffin

Another in the face slap!

And then if you want to travel

There’s the single supplement

It seems everything’s geared towards couples

No wonder poor singles lament!

And for the record

I’m quite enjoying being ‘alone’

Focusing on myself

Being free to wander and roam

No one controlling me

Being needy or suffocating

It’s actually pure bliss

And extremely liberating

But when it comes to finding a home

It’s virtually impossible right now

The odds are stacked against us solitaires

It’s a national disgrace but true somehow!

Rent caps need to happen

Social housing needs to be built

Concessions for one occupant 

And stop making us feel guilt

For being unsuccessful in love

As if it isn’t already tough enough

Coupledom isn’t the be all and end all

There’s more to life than codependency – so bog off!

More and more people

Are finding themselves unwed

Divorce is on the up

Hardly anyone is committed to anyone until death

So stop penalising these individuals 

For something that is out of their control

You can’t just order a spouse online

But everyone has a right to an affordable home.

Ground Zero

Under my skin I let you in

Swept away by the tidal wave

That was our catastrophic connection

In those heady, early days

You hit me like a comet

Obliterating my common sense

Overwhelmed with lust and laughter

On every single level did I relent

I’d look into your eyes

And quiver to my core

I couldn’t get enough

Always wanting more

I thought I’d hit the jackpot

Having yearned for you so long

I saw the diamond at your centre

Overlooking the jagged edges when you did me wrong

Foolish, besotted romantic!

Thinking my love would be enough

To make you shed your vagabond ways

And turn your life around for us!

I gave you absolutely EVERYTHING!

It was possible for me to give

But still you wanted more

Utterly draining me of my will to live

You annihilated me and my world

From the inside out

Because I allowed you so deep inside

Blindly trusting the lies that came out of your mouth

The only person who genuinely cared for you

And accepted you warts and all

Possibly your only chance of salvation

But you still released a wrecking ball

Smashing that precious thing we had

To smithereens and scraps

The only good thing that had happened to us in years

And you hurled it from your grasp

What, in God’s name, did you actually want?

That I clearly failed to provide?

You told me you saw me as out of your league

Yet you had me devotedly but did not value your ‘prize’

Instead you mercilessly chipped away

At all the attributes you once revered

Badly concealing the resentment that had built up

Towards what you thought I’d achieved

Instead of being proud 

And joining forces with me 

You chose to obliterate

My security and harmony

Destructive and demonic

You spun a web of toxicity around me

Entrapping and isolating

From which I was powerless to break free

I tried for almost a year

To extract myself from the mire you’d cast me unto

But you sapped my resolve like a vampire

And it stuck to me like glue

Until somehow Divine intervention

Blasted me free from my shackles

A thunderbolt of apocalyptic force

That almost incinerated me as it rattled

And ripped through the life I knew

Through what I had fought hard to build 

Reducing everything to ashes –

Yet astonishingly I wasn’t killed!

Instead I remain standing 

Shell-shocked, battered and bruised

Surveying the wasteland around me

Albeit in disarray and confused

And like it or not

Continue I must

For neither Heaven nor Hell want me yet

I should have been dead

Countless times

But my nine lives aren’t used up yet

I’m frankly ferociously bewildered 

At the fact I haven’t succumbed

To the evil you saturated me with

And been fatally consumed

But I despise you and hate you

For the fact that we ever crossed paths

You were right – you DIDN’T deserve me

So you should have selflessly held back!

Instead of ultimately condemning me

To this no man’s land of limbo I’m now in

Segregated and ostracised 

From all I’ve ever been familiar with

You’ve left me with NOTHING!

Wrenched me away from my community

Caused me to flee whilst you roam free

From justice you have immunity!

I am the victim

But I’m the one doing time

Evicted from my home of 32 years

Because they couldn’t convict you of your crimes

Forced to literally start 

Completely from ground zero

Not the faintest idea where to begin

But prevented from returning to the war zone

All I can do is grin and bear it

Get down on my knees and pray 

That God will inspire me eventually again

And somehow show me the way

I hope you’re happy and satisfied 

As you crawl through life without a conscience 

With this latest victim to add to your catalogue 

As again you evade your comeuppance 

But I believe that it’s only a matter of time

Before Judgement Day will pounce upon you

And boy, what a karmic debt you’ll have to pay

To atone for all the lives you have screwed.

Faith

Father I trust you

Though I may not understand 

The method in your madness

But I know you have plan

My faith is strong

For you’ve be always been there

You’ve lifted me, loved me

And shown me you care

Your Divine guidance 

Got me this far

When everyone else deserted me

You’re presence was near

I have known 

Isolation too well

But in the depths of that darkness

You rescued me from hell

So now, once again

I’m completely in your hands

I surrender to your will

And whatever comes to pass

I’ve experienced

A living death

Unfatal to my body

But, oh, what a mess!

Everything I’d built

Obliterated and destroyed

Violently ejected

But somehow redeployed

So, I’m making a fresh start

And the way forward is unknown

I pray though you will guide me

As my new future unfolds

Let me find sanctuary 

Security and peace

Let me carry out your work

However you see fit

Let my find my true calling

My purpose in this world

Show me where I belong?

How I can positively impact this earth?

I yearn to be of service

To make my incarnation count

Oh Father, keep whispering into my ear

So I can figure my next steps out

You’ve always done me right

Which is why my resilience is high

Why I can defend myself from the blows

And keep ploughing on, keep trying

I may not know the destination

And the journey may currently be tough

But Father, I do trust you

And I’m thankful for your love.

Rise!

Christ was crucified 

But rose again 

Through him we are eternal 

Death is not the end

He walked through hell

And faced the dark

But evil could not

Extinguish his spark

The son of God

Who suffered for us

A symbol of

Eternal love

Who came to earth

So we could know

The way of Heaven

And purge our souls 

The King of Kings

Needed riches not

Nor did he rule

With violence, shed blood

He simply spread

The Holy word 

To anyone who’d listen

His wisdom he shared 

A spiritual revolution

To heal the world

And save humanity 

From themselves

For redeemable are we

Who follow his lead 

Embrace the Lord

And you shall be free!

Deny Satan

Any influence over you

It’s only Christ

Whose heart is true

So when you struggle

Call out his name 

For Jesus loves you

And can ease your pain

He understands

How treacherous this world can be

And though his sacrifice

Was blasphemy 

And barbaric murder

In its most sinister form

Have faith, for his Resurrection,

Meant that we could be reborn 

The world may be infected

By the deeds of the Beast

Demons may be present

But so do Angels exist

So invite them in

With open arms

Converse with God

And you’ll come to no harm

The highest protection 

Is there if you ask

Forgiveness too

For any sins of your past

For the Father, our Creator

Cherishes us so

We are His children

In case you didn’t know!

And we are welcome

In his temple at any time

He resides within us

So venture inside 

Surrender to Him

Lay your burdens at his feet

And sleep peacefully again

In the knowledge that if you keep

The channel open

So His guidance can be heard

You’ll always instinctively 

Know which way to turn

His golden warmth 

Filling you up from within

Will envelop you 

As you melt into Him

And you will become

Serene and at peace

Your search finally over

For ultimately 

That yearning often felt 

Is the disconnect

From the Holy Spirit

From the Source, so protect,

Your relationship with the Divine

And God at all times

It’s your only hope of salvation 

And your basic human right.

Help Me – My Go Fund Me Campaign – To Record My Debut Album🧚‍♀️💜🌸🙌🌸💜🧚‍♀️

I’ve launched a Go Fund Me Campaign – link below – to realise my lifetime dream of recording and independently releasing my debut album.

If you feel inclined, please make a donation or share this post if you can’t, however small a gesture – I’d be eternally grateful and will probably cry a lot.

Here is the link to the campaign page:

https://gofund.me/fd40b99e

Thank you.

Much love,

Rachel x

‘Jail’Birds

Jail’birds

Times they are a’changing
For ‘Rusty’ and for me
Bizarrely both of us at present
Have our liberty in jeopardy

He may be sent to prison
I am incarcerated now
Informally without legal aid
In Elizabeth House

I’ve never been quite here before
And I’m scared out of my wits
My faith in God is being tried
Again my life has hit the skids

All I can do is pray
And like Rusty, I’ll have my day
But the outcome is uncertain
Which causes me intense dismay

Rusty’s freedom depends
On the UK justice system
My freedom depends
On this country’s medical profession

I’ve never trusted doctors
With me they usually get it wrong
Most of them have the God Complex
And forbid you to question them

But had I not kicked up a stink
I’d be dead by now
The only reason I’m still breathing
Is because I intuited stuff somehow

And proved them wrong
Over and over
To the point I was struck off

But now I’m dealing
With psychiatrists
Which couldn’t be more tough!

My MDT is tomorrow
I’ll let you know how it goes
There has been talk of lithium
Which chills me to the bone

But I will take what’s coming
It’s all that I can do
My fate is in the Lord’s hands now
As dear Rusty’s is too

So, mate, I kinda know
How you must be feeling
You must be sincerely demented
Psychologically reeling

I hope you don’t get jail
You’re utterly innocent to me
I vehemently entreat you, Father,
To permit our brother to walk free

Let him clear his name
In this very public domain
Let him not suffer further
For to imprison him would perhaps be ‘murder’

Vulnerable, as I am also,
I worry he won’t survive
The world and this country desperately need him
To come out of this shitstorm alive

And likewise I also ask
That, Father, you spare me, please
Don’t condemn me to a life behind bars
Release me, let me be

I’ve never harmed a soul
I am the victim, you see,
I beg of you, let common sense prevail
And get me the fuck out eventually!

Amen.

On A Wing And A Prayer

May God protect

My Mother and Me

Since she was almost 

Lost at sea

A heart attack

Whilst sailing the ocean

Almost took her to heaven

As The Spirit of Adventure was in motion

The ship aptly named

Given my 80 year old Mum

Is generally as spritely

As they come

For off she had headed

On a cruise around the Bahamas

Excited as a child on Christmas Eve

Unwittingly unsuspecting of any looming dramas

They journeyed around

For several weeks

My intermittent updates

Were happy and upbeat

Until one day 

Her emotional tide turned

And she wept to me

That for Dad and home she yearned

Be careful what you wish for

And where you consider ‘home’

For what is around the corner

Cannot always be known

Thus, little did I realise

That could’ve been our last ever conversation

And that during that night she’d be 

In an emergency situation

I couldn’t reach her at all

The whole of the next day

Though I tried, I frustratingly failed

So I just had to wait

Until I clocked a missed call

From a number in Felixstowe

And then the Universe dealt me

The horrifically crushing blow

That she’d fainted then been flown

To the edge of Spain

Placed in intensive care

– the colour literally drained

From my face 

From my entire being

The enormity of what I was hearing

Had me inwardly screaming!!!

Immediately I demanded

They get me there!!!

I called the Passport Office

In utter despair!!!

Please, please hurry!!!

The actual f**k up!!!

Moomin is in jeopardy!!!

Give me my book!!!

I grilled her insurance company 

As to my rights

I scanned the internet

For direct flights!!!

Few and far between 

To her location

And Sod’s Law would dictate

The Storm Eowyn situation!!!

The ONLY flight

The day that it hit!!!

From London Gatwick

A six hour trip!!!

On the plane, off the plane

Cause a bloke got sick!!!

Back on again 

We flew into the thick of it!!!

Tossed around

In an angry sky

Almost crashing on descent

Then vertically back up did we fly!!!

On to the next 

Available airport

But that by the raging storm 

Had also been caught

So further yet we flew

As I contemplated how much fuel

This plane had in its tank

And how much good karma I had left in the bank!!!

And all the while 

Was my Mother utterly alone

Confused and afraid

Wondering why I didn’t answer the phone!!!

You couldn’t make it up!!!

This diabolical luck!!!

Or were we actually blessed???

Was there a silver lining somewhere in this mess????!!!

My plane did eventually land!!!

And the airline did lay on a bus

To bring us back to A Coruna

(Which broke down before it delivered us…!)

In a frazzled and frantic state

Only a mere EIGHT HOURS late!!!

Although at least we’d made it alive

And hadn’t been marmalised!!!

Yet this delay meant I had to endure

Another agonising night

Apart from my dear Mother

Who’d been fighting heroically for her life!!!

I KNEW that she was now stable

And out of intensive care

I KNEW the doctors and nurses

Were looking after her!!!!

But, Jesus Christ – give me strength!!!

What Almighty lengths!!!

I’ve had to struggle to get through

Just to hold my Mum – boo hoo!!!!

Just to see her angelic face!!!

Just to hold her tiny hand!!!

Just to hear her youthful voice!!!

Just to comfort her and understand 

Exactly how this came about?

How Moomin almost checked out?

And to learn if she’ll fully recover?

For, bless her, she’s a fighter, God love her!!!

She’s cheated the Reaper

A gazillion times!

And I’m praying she’ll cheat him

Again this time!

For I cannot lose her

For the foreseeable, you see,

She’s all I’ve got and she’s staying here with me!

Do you understand???

Are you listening good?

Oh Mr Reaper, please, be gone,

And let Moomin and me off the hook!!! 

🙏🥹🙏

Up In Smoke

The streets were not

Paved with ‘gold’

As she had imagined

31 long years ago

When at only 18

She arrived in the City

With stars in her eyes

Naive but pretty

She wanted to sing

So very much

She wrote lovely songs

And was blessed with the guts

To leave behind 

That little northern town

And head down South

Now she was ‘grown’

Convinced she could succeed

But not remotely out of greed

She wanted to entertain

Touch hearts and ease the pain

Of this thing

That we call life

With her lyrics and her tunes

To spread some love and light

She fought and she fought

But soon she got caught

In the web of London lies

Which ultimately caused her strife

Battling to stay afloat

In the toughest place on earth

For a young but driven soul

Not accustomed to ‘eating dirt’

To slumming it in hovels

Yet still she produced two novels

Then an actress she became 

And almost tasted fame

But again that boat capsized

When her health began to decline

Working multiple jobs

Her stamina couldn’t keep up

With little support

She began to buckle

Under the pressure

She forgot to chuckle

She stopped enjoying

The ride she was on

This rollercoaster of survival

Really wasn’t much fun

Nor did she find 

Her Mr Right

Just a parade of cockroaches

That further blighted her life

Who she clung to

For too long

In the vain hope 

That two was better than one

And then as the metropolis 

Became more and more gentrified 

She became priced out

Of her ‘penthouse’ in the sky

Actually a pigeon loft

Ramshackle and revolting 

Which decayed with her inside

Whilst her thieving landlord did nothing

On her knees

Debilitated

Broke and broken

She contemplated 

How the hell

She might escape

To pastures new

Before she breaks

Irreparably 

Her spirit weary

For crushed was she

And it was scary

Enter: Him

The Grimmest Of Reapers

More menacing than Kruger 

The instigator of nightmares 

Who inadvertently 

In persecuting her so

Triggered a calamitous ejection

Of her status quo

Catapulting her out

Of a deadly situation 

Like an astronaut abandoning

A rocket on course for destruction 

Yes, almost incinerated

Was she upon re-entry

But somehow she survived

Catastrophes a-plenty

Now in hiding

Awaiting repatriation 

To the life she DESERVES to live

At her final destination 

And woe betide

Any entity lacking a soul

That messes with her now

Or tries to take a hold

Of this phoenix rising

Steadily from the ashes

For mark my words obliterated 

Will that demon be if it trashes

This new trajectory 

She is on

For she’ll track IT down

And shoot that gun!!! 

Dramatic, huh?

Well, that promise is NO joke!

F**k you and this ‘Capital’ city

And ‘living’ in The Big Smoke🖕

999!!!

Who will save

The ‘mentally ill’?

Incarcerated 

Against their will?

Their freedom revoked

Locked away

Subjected to demonically possessed

Inhumane ‘birds’ of prey

Experimented on

With lethal drugs 

Some still illegal

Peddled by ‘thugs’

Suffering adverse

Side effects

Many are ‘murdered’

Or mutilated at best 

Unregulated prisons

Are these psychiatric wards

Where ‘health’ is destroyed

By homicidal overlords 

When you have no rights

How can you possibly fight?

Who would believe 

The things you have seen? 

The atrocities committed

By the staff of ‘psychopaths’ 

Plying you with cocktails

Of pills with deadly aftermaths?

She suffered for a WEEK!

Screaming on the floor!

We could all hear her cries!

Bloodthirsty voyeurs at her door!

‘She’s malingering’, they thought

Refused to call 999

So they punished her some more

All the while she was DYING!!

We WITNESSED her demise

A woman in her prime

How she loved to dance!

To bump and to grind!

And now here was she

In mortal agony

Her life slipping away

Now, alas, deceased!!!

It HAS to STOP!!!!

But who will take the mantle?

Who gives a f**k

About ending this scandal?

Who will listen

To the victims under section?

Their credibility annihilated 

In desperate need of protection!

I will NEVER forget

The deplorable neglect

The trauma, the abuse

The disgusting misuse

Of power I’ve observed

As these patients are cursed

Crucified 

Bullied, dehumanised

Degraded and crushed

It’s all just too much

Too many are killed

As a result of unskilled

And uncaring

Pathetic excuses for nurses

Who bring shame on The NHS

What a f**king unholy mess!!!

Florence Nightingale would spin

In her grave

The way some are treated

Is depraved, for goodness sake!!!

Something MUST be done!

It’s a kind of Holocaust

Carried out on BRITISH soil

Injustice at its worst!!

In an institution 

That dares to call itself a HOSPITAL

When in fact it’s a chamber

Of torture worse than hell

Like laboratory rats

The patients are trapped

Stigmatised 

And, yes, bastardised!!!

Their lives now forever blighted

Should they manage to escape

A vulnerable, uncertain future

If they once again break

For back inside will they go

Like a bloody yo-yo

The physical overlooked

Their goose forever cooked

I WON’T let this lie!! 

I won’t LET Katrina have died 

Alone and in vain!!

I’ll make them PAY for her PAIN!!

Lord have MERCY!!!

Christ – SEND a saviour!!!

Forsake them not!!!

And cull this behaviour!!!

Or give ME the influence 

If no one else can be found

Let ME be the ambassador

To bring these EVIL regimes down 

For it’s personal and more

She was my friend

Let this be my crusade

God give me strength

St Ann’s, Chase Farm

I condemn you both

You are an abomination

Of The Hippocratic Oath.

The Cruci-FICTION!

Crucified
For the second time
Trial by social media
Yet no proof of any crimes

As if Sachsgate wasn’t
Bad enough
They’ve mobilised again
To annihilate this beacon of love

The hatred and the venom
Pouring over him like boiling oil
As they attempt to burn him at the stake
And his credibility to soil

To silence him
Is their ultimate plan
As he threatens the old regime
He is ultimately damned

But those that ‘know’ him
Can see through the lies
Those who are awakened
Won’t permit his demise

His power and influence
Is off the scale
With friends in very high places
Divine justice will prevail

For this man is no ordinary
Human being
This man is in fact
A messenger from heaven

For I saw his majestic wings
In a vision long ago
And convinced am I (so sue me!)
He’s a Messiah here to show

Humanity how to break free
From the shackles we wear
Imposed upon us by the deep state
Who have condemned us to live in fear

This teacher and wounded healer
Who some say is the ‘new’ Jesus incarnate
Could well be the second coming
Which would explain the intense hate

He has attracted throughout
His public life
That the powers that be have endeavoured to silence
And to cause tremendous strife

That Christ could have risen
Again in this time
Should not be ruled out
If one considers the demise

Of freedom of speech
Of a looming third world war
Of the global elite
The growing gulf between rich and poor

Of silicone valley
Billionaires
Controlling the world’s financial,
political and medical affairs

No single ordinary person
Could succeed in defeating
The regime of evil and greed
That has imprisoned this world’s people

For the species that has hijacked
This entire globe
Is not of this earth at all
Instead they are a rogue

Race of some sort
That may well come from outer space
Or worse, could have ascended actually from hell
Demonic parasites of hate

Thus such a force of malevolence
Can surely only be foiled
By a force of divine light powerful enough
To have come from God Himself

Make of that what you will
I really don’t give a damn
Crucify me too
For ‘outing’ Russell Brand

For that is my gut instinct
Having observed him for nearly twenty years
And that is why I revere him
For I suspect him to be our Saviour

His following is global
Growing hugely everyday
He ALWAYS surmounts every obstacle
That has ever stood in his way

He should have been finished
Repeatedly
But like a cat with nine lives
He prevails with intact dignity

For he is on a mission
A cosmic crusade
With an angelic army behind him
He is protected and cannot be ‘slayed’

No one could endure
The amount of sh*t he’s been through
And rise from the ashes
Like the Phoenix can do

Karma is a bitch
Darkness is extinguished by light
And this ‘gift’ we have been given
Will be vindicated out of his current plight

I rest my case
And expect to be slammed
But I stand by these words
As I stand by Russell Brand.

The Money-Go-Round

The merry-go-round of money

The things that people do!

It all comes down to money

It sucks but this is true

Everything has a fee

And it’s costs just to be alive

From cradle to grave we consume

And even basic needs have a price

The clothes we wear

The water we drink

The food we eat

The kitchen sink

The travel to work

The roof over our heads

Entertainment and hobbies

Thus we spin in our beds

It’s all a bloody madness

This ebb and flow of cash

It can make or break civilisations

Cause suicides, murder en mass

Wars are fought

And crimes committed

People seduced

Jailed, embittered

Gambling’s rife

If you don’t have enough

Some win, some lose

For this game’s really tough

This rollercoaster ride

The currency of life

Makes you high, makes you low

Makes you have sleepless nights

So unpredictable

You celebrate or seethe

Everything is taxed

Save the air that we breathe

But with all the pollution

Surely it’s only a matter of time

Before they take ownership of that

And sell it back to us ‘cleansed’ of grime!

You have to laugh

You really do

Having to pay to wipe your arse

When you go to the loo?!

Even bog roll ain’t free

As aren’t tampons and the like

And every financial year

Do they the prices hike

The ‘cost of living’

Ever rising with inflation

The powers that be

A veritable conflagulation

“Spend your money!

Sell your incarnation!

Work to earn a crust!”

They preach with exultation

Then when you’re old and grey

And totally clapped out

You finally kick the bucket

And they charge you to be thrown out!

Oh, how my blonde mind boggles

It really doesn’t make sense

The way this silly world quibbles

Over every pound and pence

Eradicate the stuff!

It’s evil, do say I!

Surely we were born to dance

Not to barter, sell and buy!

Everything we need

Was given to us by ‘God’

So how can you put a price on this Earth?

And it’s contents, you silly sod?

Did you create this land?

The animals, plants and trees?

They sun and sky above?

The oceans, lakes and streams?

Of course you didn’t, you prat

But you’ve claimed it for your own

And now you preside over it

From upon your gilded throne

Well a throne is but a perch

And can be fallen off

And one day I hope you’re toppled

If enough of us get cross!

Fragile

Fragile flower being blown by the wind
To and fro, to and fro

Petals ruffling in the breeze –
Will they stay or will they go?

Slender stem swaying this way and that
Yet tightly gripped by the ground

Hold on tight – the storm can’t last
The sun will soon come out

Droplets of rain cascade thick and fast
But it cleanses you as it flows

Into the earth to nourish your roots
So that you can continue to grow

Harnessing Anger

Yesterday I was angry
The rage burned deep within
White hot searing heat
Permeating every limb

The flames did lick my tightened chest
Threatening to consume
Suppressing it was difficult
Not something I could do

So I harnessed it through writing
And constructed a cage of words
A little spark did still escape
But I feel it was deserved

And now the anger has passed
Damage limitation was a success
Emotions are natural thus hard to control
We can regulate them at best

This Place

This place where you are going

I have never been

But I believe that you’ll go on

In a different reality

 

I believe in the afterlife

And in angels and in heaven

I believe you’ll find true love

I believe you will always be present

 

The spirit  never dies

The soul is everlasting

The body is a skin

You simply will be shedding

 

And when you close your eyes

And finally go to sleep

You’ll wake up in a dream

Where you will be at peace

 

Ecstasy will envelop you

You’ll melt into such bliss

And rise above it all

And feel your father’s kiss

 

And we’re not far away

Just the other side of the door

You can visit any time

Even if we can’t see you any more

 

Your daughters will know you are there

Because you’ll live inside their hearts

And the memories they’ll treasure

Will see them through the dark

 

You’ll always be remembered

There’s eternal life in that

You’ve made a tremendous impact

That simply is a fact

 

I love you to a million pieces

And wanted to say this to you

For I believe that something infinite

And profound is waiting for you

 

Rejection

Rejection is subjective
Though it hurts and that’s the truth
How you deal with it depends
On how you feel about you

If you love yourself more
The sooner you’ll bounce back
If you lack self worth
Try to work on that

Build yourself up
So that if you are affected
The wound won’t cut so deep
Should you ever be rejected

Know it happens to us all
At one time or another
So softly, softly go
With your sisters and your brothers

One day it could be you
Doing the rejecting
So be as kind as you can
For the recipient deserves protecting

They are human too
We’re all in the same boat
A little consideration for each other
Will keep us all afloat

View From The Plateau

Questioning who I am
What it’s all about
Living in the here and now
Trying to figure it out

Feeling pain but also love
Seeing the beauty in life
Witnessing things I can only contemplate
The struggles, the worry and strife

Change is in the air
But I’ve reached a firm plateau
And here I’ll stay until such time
I feel the urge to go

The Present

When you have no power
And things are beyond your control
All you can do is nothing
You just have to let go

The present is yours
And it is a gift
All you have is now

Try to be in the moment
Try to live there somehow

You may not find it easy
It can be hard at times
But doing it might help
To give you peace of mind

Try to forget the future
Try to forget the past
For we have no way of knowing
How long the present will last

The Parasite

Free from bondage
Free from chains
The parasite is gone

Off my back
Out of my life
And I am moving on

It disappeared
Without a trace
Never said a word

Cut me dead
Like I was scum
After two whole years

It fed off me
Kept coming back
But it was ‘never’ a relationship

That’s laughable
But it can’t see
What a f*****g p***k!

The Key To Free

If you’ve suffered abuse
Don’t face it alone
Seek the strength to speak out
And get help soon

Don’t think it’s your fault
The issue is theirs
Know that it’s wrong
They are not taking care

Whatever it’s nature
If it hurts it’s not right
If it makes you feel bad
If you have to fight

To protect yourself
Or, worse, stay silent
Find a way to escape
Live free of violence

The abuser is sick
And not of sound mind
If they disrespect you
They are deeply unkind

Love yourself more
Than you love them
Turn and walk away
Because things won’t change

They need help
And you to do
Just forget about them
And focus on you

Aspiring to Wholeness

Bi Polarity
Two extremes
Opposite ends
That strive to meet
In the middle 
Where all is balanced
Equilibrium
Can be such a challenge
Two halves of a whole
That need to unite
In order to function
Without a fight

Gemini
The sign of the twins
A blessing and a curse
Or so it seems
Divided again
Or two halves of a whole?
Separate
Or of the same soul?
Brother and sister
From the same source
Family yet
Estranged and divorced

Two sides of a coin
Conjoined in the middle
By bronze, silver and gold
Such precious metals
The struggle to marry
The yin and yang
To complete the puzzle
And be at one
Something out of kilter
So many conflicting parts
But the fragments are coming together
I can feel it in my heart

The Volcano

Keep your distance
Whilst I erupt
This molten lava
Is coming up
The urge to purge 
Is blowing me open
Get out of the way
Whilst I’m being outspoken

I can’t protect you
From what’s to come
But equally I can no longer keep mum
This pyroclastic surge
May cause some destruction
But the chamber is bursting
The magma craves expression

It’s been bubbling inside
And now it’s overflowing
Who will feel it’s force
I have no way of knowing
But it’s a natural reaction
To what I’m going through
I’m overwhelmed with emotion
And this isn’t about you

Gratitude

Looking through the window
I see the crescent moon
Peering at me from behind a rooftop
Housing someone else’s room
 
Pure and white, a blinding light
Shining in the sky
Pulling upon my psyche
As I contemplate my life
 
The other day it was full
Super and complete
Now it appears to be waning
As I prepare for sleep
 
I’m noticing its cycle
For the first time in a while
And thinking about what it symbolises
And inwardly I smile
 
The sunset also drew me in
Its beauty was so fine
I’m thankful for the little things
That make this journey sublime
 
 

My Addiction

Thinking about my addiction
And how to kick the habit
How to stop consuming it
Before I’m totally ravaged
 
It’s making me sick I’m aware of that
But now I cannot break it
I’m reliably told it takes willpower
But I just can’t seem to make it
 
I’m aware of all its triggers
And I want to stop this action
But doing it just sometimes
Gives me satisfaction
 
Now I’m making excuses
When I’ve only myself to blame
I lit the stick, sucked on it
Now I must face the pain
 
The buzz isn’t always nice
Sometimes it just feels toxic
But I’ll still scavenge to get some
Whilst I wonder if I’ve lost it
 
I’ve tried reading books and bought a vape
But thus far I have failed
So still those drags I will take
Even though I have travailed
 
It makes me feel shitty
It makes me feel crap
It’s so absurd
I could almost laugh
 
It’s out of control
It’s getting obscene
I need some help
To quit nicotine

Lessons In Love

You can’t choose who you love
You can’t make them love you back
You can’t choose how they treat you
The only choice is how you react

If you’re love is unrequited
Or even ill received
If it’s too much for them to take
If it’s ill perceived

Don’t love them less
Just walk away
Find another outlet
Because if it hurts its not ok
And something’s wrong about it

Love is unconditional
It can’t be bought and sold
And if you choose to express it
You have to let it go

The Elements

Be like water
Go with the flow
Where the river takes you
You cannot possibly know

Be like the breeze…
Light as air
Ride that wave
Without a care

Live for the day
You may not see tomorrow
No point dwelling
On the pain and sorrow

Take it as it comes
A blessing in disguise
Find that silver lining
You won’t believe you eyes

Fire purifies
Lightening breaks the shackles
A Phoenix will often rise
From the ashes of the battle

And if you are still standing
When all has come to pass
Thank you’re lucky stars
You weren’t obliterated by the blast

Then start over again
You got a second chance
Grab it by the horns
And bloody learn to dance!

Apocalyptic Episode

Been struck by lightening
Blown apart
Exposed myself
In the form of art

Like the falling tower
I couldn’t make it stop
I didn’t see it coming
It’s like a bomb has dropped

I’m sitting in the rubble
Examining the ruins
I’m wondering if the fallout
Could be my undoing

But something deep inside
Is telling me to wait
Something is unfolding
To do with my own fate

The explosion was the key
To breaking free of chains
The death of my old self
The recycling of the remains

The birth of something new
The dawn of a new era
A time to speak the truth
And live without fear

A time to atone
Forgive and then to let go
A time to heal myself
And maybe feel sorrow

But also a time to rejoice
In all that is good
And a time to be thankful
For those that showed me love

Diamond In The Rough

Been crawling through the gutter
Caked in mud
Looking for that diamond
In the rough
Staring at the stars
Couldn’t climb the ladder
Kept on sliding down
Had to try harder

Helping hands at times
Slapped me in the face
A dog eat dog world
A dangerous rat race
But I’m still in the running
And I’m not giving up
I’m a tough mother
With a fire in my gut

Do you believe in God?
In a higher power?
The jury is all out
But in my darkest hour
I saw a blinding light
And came out of my body
I walked out of the wreckage
Without a scratch on me

I was on a ride
Was it heaven? Was it hell?
Was it just my mind?
Failing me as well?
When nothing seems real
And you want to know the truth
Who do you believe?
Who can give you proof?

Humans can be flawed
The system is all fucked
Saviours come and go
But some run out of luck
The truth is often silenced
Through fear of retribution
Can’t stomach all these lies
It affects my constitution

Who wrote it anyway?
Why should it adapt?
Maybe I feel sick
Cause I was fed such crap
Maybe if the sustenance
Was pure and came from love
The toxins in my system
Couldn’t me corrupt

My filter would be clear
My body would be nourished
My mind would stand a chance
My troubled soul would flourish
Then maybe I could live
A life of pure bliss
And peace would be on earth
Instead of a fantasy in the abyss.

Note To Self

Little girl
Protect your dreams
For they are precious
Such precious things

Keep them safe
Inside your heart
And place the key
Inside a star

The angels have
A job to do
Watch over them
And over you

And when it’s safe
To take them out
They will come true
I have no doubt.

The time is nigh
And you are ready
Just keep your nerve
And take it steady

Sing it loud
And play it clear
So all the world
Cannot but hear

And then rejoice
In what’s to come
Take a bow
The job is done.

Clarity

The veil has lifted
I see the truth
The stark reality
My misspent youth

No space for blame
Just circumstance
We all deserve
A second chance

A time to live
A time to die
And yes you may
Want to ask why

A time for answers
A time for change
One thing’s for sure
It can’t stay the same

We say goodbye
Let go with love
Restore our faith
In what’s above

We then move on
Into the light
And try our best
To do what’s right

We’re only human
And in the end
We make mistakes
Let’s not pretend.

Wrecked

Such a lack of hope

Life in irreparable tatters

I do not think I can cope

Dreams and aspirations beyond shattered

Struggling to progress at all

Obstacles too huge, impassable, I fall

On to my knees entreating God – please!!!

Unforesake me – I can’t take anymore!

Release me from these chains

Set me free from the demons that plague

Salvage what’s left of me from this wreck

Resuscitate me, inspire me, I beg!

There’s literally nothing left

And still deeper and deeper I plunge

Into a desolate quagmire 

Strengthless and limp I succumb 

I truly am finished

Smashed apart against the rocks

Of a derelict desert island

Away from civilisation – devoid of luck

The blessings I once had

Ripped away from me and lost

Just my battered body

And the rags I wear I’ve got

No assets

Few possessions

No house

No friends nearby

A wearyness

I cannot shake off

A cup no longer full

But bone dry

Ostracised from my former life

Cast unto an alien place

Where I really don’t belong

From which I ran and which I still hate

I literally have NOTHING

No family – but one

Who falters more every single day

Without whom I shall be entirely alone

All I see before me

Is more loss and isolation

I have never ever feared life itself

But these constant tribulations

Have ground me down to such a halt

I am paralysed to the core

Trapped in a vault that relentlessly compresses

Buried in a tomb without a door

But still I am breathing

And my heavy heart beats

Still I have eyes with which to see

The extent of my defeat

Still I have emotions and can feel my pain

Still I have memories that will

not go away

Still I am conscious when I truly wish

to not exist

Still I envy others and their happiness and gifts 

Lord, make it stop!!!

Enough!!!! It has to end!!!!

I want out!!!

I am done making amends!!!

I am done starting over!!!

Done with picking up the pieces!!!

This shit is too much!!!

I cannot iron out these creases!!!!

You’ve taken too much

There is FUCK ALL left

So you may as well come back if you dare

And fucking take the rest.