To The ‘Fattist’ Fascists

It seems I can never win

Persecuted for being ‘chubby’ as a kid

Then when anorexia set in

Persecuted again for being ‘too thin’

Addicted to laxatives

Enamoured with speed

As it suppressed my appetite

Did I consume it with greed

Cue: dizzy spells

Fainting a lot

Protruding ribs

Skeletal, fleshless bot

I couldn’t sit down 

Like The Princess & The Pea

Even through piles of cushions

Did my sharp buttock bones jar with the seat

When I tried to eat again

To appease judgemental people

A more vicious disease took hold

Which was more gruesome and potentially fatal

Bulimia Nervosa

Where you binge and purge

Relentlessly each time 

You get the urge

No control whatsoever 

Over your appetite 

So you gorge, puke, gorge

Morning, noon and night

My periods stopped

For almost five years

From losing too much weight

That’s how I suspect my womb got cursed

Until one day

God intervened

And gave me the courage 

To see a GP

Who infuriatingly accused me of copying 

“That bloody, silly, Diana!”

(Her actual Royal Highness)

(Who resided at Highgrove Manor)

Whom this so-called ‘doctor’ 

Did quite frankly seriously detest

And in spite of being a woman 

Lacked ANY solidarity with her sex

“Off you go, 

And don’t come back!”

She ranted in received pronunciation

A dinosaur in tweed

A very wicked deed

She couldn’t care less about my emaciation!!!

It broke my heart

I felt mortified and ashamed

I bawled my eyes out

And ran off in the rain

Desperate and terrified 

Thinking I would surely die

I was then compelled to write

To Dr Irvin that night

He replied by return

He was my childhood doc

I’d managed to find his address

In the yellow pages book

He sent me to a psychiatrist 

Ultimately 

And from both diseases

Did I finally break free

A self-help book too

Did fall and hit my head

In Waterstones

“Freedom From Bulimia” the title said

Divine intervention?

Absofuckinglutely, I’m sure

Cured from these diseases

But not from their cause

For it was the body shaming

From so-called ‘friends’ and family

That messed up my head

And twisted me psychologically 

Particularly from other women

I’m so dismayed to confess

In fact, they were the worst

At causing me such distress

And EVEN now 

As I near fifty

Having gained unwanted curves

Since I’ve been afflicted

With endometriosis

Related hormone imbalance 

Certain of my circle

Have made unkind comments

About my current size

Lamenting how svelte I once was

Raising eyebrows

Seemingly at a loss

As to how I could possibly

Have ‘let myself go’?!!! 

Well, screw you, b*tches

What the hell do you know???!!!

Did you know my stomach 

Is now utterly f*cked?

That I’ve a nasty hiatus hernia?

And suffer with reflux?

That my bowels will never

EVER be the same

From playing the extreme 

Dieting game!!!

So, shut the f*ck up!

With your veiled sniping and rude remarks

It’s heartless and cruel

And I’ll be damned if I’m being harsh!

By calling this out

And holding you to account

For it seems that you’re gloating

At how my body has turned out

Were you jealous before?

Do you feel better now?

Do you feel superior 

In your size 8 gown?

Can you still get into

That teeny bikini?

Well, bully for you!

For though I may not be skinny

At least I’m happy

Healthier now

And people like you 

Are simply cows

Curves are not crimes

Thus ought not to be punished

Do you seriously want me to go down

For being well-nourished?

Screw those of you

Who live on thin air

In order to be a zero

So that you can wear

Essentially

Prepubescent teenager’s togs

You’re an adult, ffs!

No need to scoff!

At those of us 

Perhaps struggling with a battle 

You know f*ck all about

It makes me soooo rattled!!!!

Keep your opinions to yourself

Screw your frenemieship! 

For YOU are the criminals that SHOULD feel ashamed

And quite frankly, YOU make me sick.