The lemon muffins on display
In Starbucks are quite rude
Positioned in pairs, with pointed iced tips
They look suspiciously like boobs
Turned over on their sides
Full and bursting out
They immediately caught my eye
And made me laugh out loud
Like bulging bosoms
Veritable sugar ‘tits’
I actually cracked a smile
And almost lost my s**t!
What cheeky little chappy
Was the author of this joke?
That brightened up my morning
As I trudged to work in the snow?
He must be a breast man
Bazookas his weakness
Harbouring an obsession
With the female chest
To liken them to muffins
Is actually quite strange
Perhaps he’s fixated with Mary’s Berries
From her Bake-Off days
Or maybe it’s simply just
My own silly, warped mind
That associates muffins with mammaries
Because there’s two turned on their sides
Who knows, but it tickled me pink
And I totally had to share
For the sight of them made me happy
So forgive me for going there…
Rachel Rhodes 