Diary Of The Disconnected

What a palaver

When your account’s been slammed

No internet or landline

Communications jammed

Who’s to blame?


All say “No!

It wasn’t me!”

So while they pass me 

From pillar to post

I report them to OFFCOM

Now surely they’re toast

Can’t cut me off

For two whole weeks

And expect me to roll over

And turn the other cheek

I’ve been stitched up 

Through no fault of my own

WIFI is no more

Running through my home

So I sit and I wait

Under house arrest

From the crack of dawn ‘til noon

At their inconvenient behest

For an engineer to appear

And rectify my plight

Get me back online

Before I lose my s***e

He’s cutting it really fine

This elusive man from BT

Another telecoms co.

To add to the other three

You’d think between the four of them

They could sort this major mess out

Not condemn me to more complaining 

And shooting off my mouth

I’ve already had to take

A whole day off of work

Pay to use a net cafe

And it’s driving me berserk

Buy some extra data

So I can surf at least from my phone

And now I am a prisoner

A jailbird having a moan

Fast forward now an hour

The swine did not show up

Called Plusnet again

And spoke to some other dumb f**k

Who told me my order was cancelled

By Orange – what a joke!

Another corporation to add to the mix

Now that’s five I want up in smoke 

She then changed her tune

After putting me on hold

For an interminable time 

As my blood boiled with these woes

“Oh sorry he came at 9

And fixed things externally”

A day off work was not required –

Well thanks for telling me!

Incandescent I tear into her ear

Wishing I could slap her face

If only this rep of Plusnet were here

What a balls up, an utter disgrace!

“Yes, it’s unfortunate”

Understatement of the year

I’m seething at this heartless t**t

Who unfortunately doesn’t 


And is only increasing my wrath

So I ask for the boss

To lodge a complaint 

I’m that flaming angry

I could actually faint

I must wait for a call

As he’s not around

Typical, I think

What a bunch of clowns.

I’ll update again

When I have more news

Until then must I simmer

As my screws are now loose.

2 thoughts on “Diary Of The Disconnected

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